Anonymous: what kind of role model is this?
The following is part of a series of anonymous tales- names and any hints that could lead to identifying the writer have been modified to protect the enraged.
We all have things to learn at every point in our careers and at any job. As we all know, sometimes the lesson is how not to do things.
It starts with the report that you think will be easier to just finish later, at home on the couch. Which frees you up to be on a sales call or have another meeting or get yourself involved in another project. And once you've done the report at home once, it becomes the report that you always do at home. And then slowly you start figuring out that you can procrastinate during the day by putting off reports and solitary stuff until after everyone else goes home. You tell yourself that you are just so dedicated and you imagine how many people will marvel at your work ethic and say they don't know how you do all that you do. When you do all this stuff at night, your emails show how 24/7 you are and you have more time during the day to kiss the boss' ass or take on work that will get you to the next level.
Every job has its busy times and we all know that we'll step up when it matters and the extra hours on that important project will make a big difference.
That's not what we're talking about here. We're talking about full-blown workaholism and what it does to your co-workers and employees (not to mention friends, family, dogs and cats, college roommates, etc.) and why it really doesn't make a person look as put-together as you think.
Case in point: my boss Majorie. She’s the worst.
She runs the department where I work. I won't say what industry, but let's just say we're not paramedics. No one is dying over a brochure if that makes any sense.
But don't tell Marjorie, who actually bragged that she worked through Thanksgiving last year. Someone innocently asked her how her holiday was and she said "too much work!"
I know some people are far from their families or don't have a lot of close friends and for them, the holidays can be quiet. That is wildly different. This is: I need you to know how busy and important I am. And, maybe, it's also saying "work is the one thing in my life I can control and it loves me back," but hey, I'm not a psychiatrist just like I’m not a paramedic.
Around the office, we use the phrase "it came in on Marjorie time" when we're talking about the (non) emergency that barges in by email at 7:30pm. Or 10pm. Or 11pm. Just so busy. One time it was a late-night message that started with, "I thought I sent an email on this, but I must have just imagined it, so this is a rush. Can you have XXXX for a meeting at noon tomorrow? Anything you can pull together is fine." (This is paraphrased, but not much.) Clearly, Marjorie was just getting around to seeing what was on her agenda for the next day and had one of those *holy shit* moments where she knew she wasn't prepared. Not to worry! Let's just set the staff on fire because they need to know that this is what being a team player means. (Narrator: It does not.)
Did I mention Marjorie is a mess? Marjorie is also pretty high up in our company and she seems to me to be terrified, not confident. She thinks if she just does everything, no one will ever be able to replace her. I do give her credit for somehow always figuring out how to get the really important stuff done and she keeps her boss happy. (I guess she does? It seems that way.)
But what kind of role model is this? Sure, it's an adrenaline rush to bust out a project at a moment's notice, but when it's every day (including Thanksgiving! Christmas! No vacations here and if I am gone I am available all the time by email!) it's just exhausting. People start thinking that's the way they have to act to get a raise or promotion or just keep their jobs. It drains you of your creativity and mental energy. What comes out of it is nobody's best work, especially the people who work for her and live on the edge every day because they never know what's coming at them. It's possible to put up boundaries, but most people choose to just find a new place to work.
What have I learned working for a workaholic?
Bring all you've got to work. All of it. Be on time and be there for your work peeps and love your job, because you should. And then go home. And come back and do it again the next day or Monday or whenever your work hours dictate. I promise it will all be there and you'll hit it hard again because you've had a break and you've reset your perspective.
If you find yourself constantly catching up at night and on the weekends, have you thought about working on your efficiency or talking to a trusted colleague about how to manage your time or finding tools to help you? If you have a wellness program at your company, there's a good chance they have a program on this.
If you find yourself trying to keep up with the workaholic or competing with your co-workers to work really hard to get on the workaholic's good side, you will lose. You are not the unhealthy, unbalanced one and you will just make yourself more miserable. Find a way to stand up for yourself even if it means you aren't the favorite of the workaholic. Trust me, the workaholic doesn't care about any of you. Get in touch with HR if you need help with this because they don't want the liability of people saying they are expected to work 24/7.
Show gratitude for your life and the people in it who love you for the person you are outside the office and keep you in check. Seek out that person who will look at your crazy eyes when you get overwhelmed and too obsessed with your job and just hug you or have a glass of wine and laugh about how ridiculous life is.
Anonymous: A Series will be just that- tales from anonymous people that are carefully scoured to remove identities. Have something you want to share? Send your rant, shocking story or love letter here:
