Girl Power: It's not (always) a competition



Girl power. Not just a theme the Spice Girls promoted back in the day.

It's a real thing that should happen among women today, tomorrow and always.

As women, we're always comparing ourselves to each other in our personal and professional lives, as if everything in life is a competition:

She's so much thinner than me
How does she manage to do all of this?
She dresses so well, I could never pull that off
Why is she moving up so fast? I bet she's sleeping her way to the top.
She's so confident, I wish I could be like that
How did she master all of these skills?
She's so pretty, I'll never look like THAT
I wonder how much she makes a year.

Sound familiar? It should, because unfortunately we do this more than we'd like to admit. These thoughts go through our heads without so much as a pause. But why are these the thoughts we've come to accept as the norm? Why do we torture ourselves with comparison, and why aren't our thoughts more uplifting...more positive?

We're always trying to prove perceptions of women wrong and yet, we're catty and rude to ourselves and our counterparts on a daily basis. Enough is enough.

It's time to let girl power (or woman power, rather) live strong. We are who we are, other women are who they are-we can all be great in the same realm. It's not always a competition.

The best way to accomplish this goal is by modifying the way we think. When another woman says something positive about themselves-an accomplishment for example-let them. We all know it takes a lot of courage to share something with others who could potentially be judging us. So when someone manages to do so, let them have the floor and share a part of their lives. You don't always have to one-up someone else's share. That might be one of the most annoying traits in people-the need to out-do someone else even when the other person wasn't competing with them in the first place.

It isn't always about you-let it be about someone else every now and then.

When another woman reaches a goal that she's set for herself, remember that it's her goal, not yours. Which means there's no reason to attempt making her goal into a competition that you're now participating in.


We all lead different lives and set personal goals that put us in competition with ourselves and no one else. Some goals are public, like a FitBit step challenge or some other kind of understood and agreed upon competition where everyone knows they're trying to beat someone out at something. Others are private and just for us.


Be sure to know the difference and avoid coming across as a jackhole who can't let people have their own stuff without you suddenly realizing you want to achieve that goal too. Get your own.

Lastly, know who you should be competing with. You may be running around keeping secrets that you think hold the key to some level of status, or sneaking around eyeing what someone else is doing and where they're going and what they're wearing-always on alert to compete with whatever it is that's currently going on with them.

The thing is...they're probably not paying you any mind. They have plans, thoughts and goals that don't include you in any way. You're competing with someone that isn't concerned with you in the least. Know that someone is interested in competing with you in some aspect before accepting an invisible challenge.

We all have a purpose and (hopefully) both short and long term goals of our own. Most of which require us to compete with ourselves to do and be better. Let's end the pettiness. Start cheering each other on more than you try to break each other down. We can all be great in the same space, but only if we support one another.

So the next time you see another woman doing something great or accomplishing something fabulous, ask her about it, be interested in what she has to say and cheer her on. Your turn will come-no need to ruin hers to make yourself feel more powerful.

Never allow yourself be envious. Be inspired instead.

Until next time, ladies and gents alike...

Peace, love and greatness to all.

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