Never Stop Courting Her
A friendly reminder to continue courting your significant other as Valentine's Day approaches.
Famous last words..."I think we're past the courting stage."Don't ever say this to your significant other. If you have, it's in your best interest not to do so-ever again. I mean, that's unless you're looking for an out and would like to be single of course.
I know what you're thinking...
"But it's true. We've been together for awhile...why should I have to court my girl if she's already with me?"Well, for starters...because it's necessary. Period. Everyone that's in a relationship hits a slump of sorts, where you feel like you've fallen into a routine and are just going through the motions. It happens and it's nobody's fault. Just a normal occurrence.
But if you've hit that slump, think about what got you there. Have you stopped taking your lady out, stopped flirting with her, started ignoring details of what she likes and fallen off on paying attention to what she's been feeling? Has she been cranky with you for (seemingly) no reason?
Newsflash: There is a reason. You've stopped courting her.
She doesn't feel like you're really into this anymore, and has probably made herself a little busier than usual, because...well...you're not paying her any mind.
Before you start ranting about all the ways it's hard to court someone you're already with, let me provide you with solutions for everything you want to throw out there.
Excuse: I'm broke. I can't afford to take her out on fancy dinners and all of that.
Who said courting involved 5 course meals? Find deals, prix fixe specials, make her dinner, take her out for a fun, cheap night of burgers and beer or grab that flask and head out into the world with a secret buzz. Get creative! Creativity is always appreciated and noticed. Not to mention it completely trumps a thoughtless dinner reservation.
Now don't get too excited here-women like to be wined and dined too. So if you can afford a nice dinner every once in a while-make the reservation. Listen to her when she speaks, when she mentions a new place she really wants to try...it's probably a restaurant that serves her favorite kind of food or has some other unique detail that intrigues her. If that's the case, plan for it. Surprise her. She'll not only be shocked, but she'll be ecstatic that you paid attention to the little things she says.
Excuse: Why do I have to do this, why can't she court me?
Really? Grow a pair, bro. Man up and give your girl some attention so she doesn't look for it elsewhere. God forbid, right?
I'm not saying she should never, ever treat you or take you out, but you have to allow for some tradition. If she wants to take you out, she will. But never ask a woman to treat you to dinner-let her offer or just do it. Trust me on this one.
Excuse: I'm just really busy.
You find time for the things and people you want to find time for. Choose wisely and realize that "no time" is really just an excuse. Busy people have schedules-put her on yours...if she's busy too, get on each other's. Figure it out.
By now you should get the idea. Time, nor money, nor silly excuses should stop you from showing someone you care and that you want them in your life.
If you thought it was important when you first started dating, understand that it's still important 2, 3, 5, 10 years down the road.
Stop making excuses and start making plans-never, ever stop courting her. If you love her, show her...or let her move on with her life.
Until next time...
Cheers to life, love and happiness.