Match-Up: Character Must-Haves
When seeking a partner, we all have our requirements or preferences. They usually include some aesthetic elements, along with values and similar interests. What we don't usually don't add to our list are character traits that we're attracted to. Sometimes we don't even realize it. Sometimes those character traits are what get us in trouble and into the wrong relationships. That's why it's important to know what they are and why we are attracted to them...and also why we need to know what our counterparts are looking for in their partner.
So what the hell are they, anyway? Well, character traits include things like honesty, playfulness, determination, confidence, calmness, organization and patience to name a few. Not things we typically jump to when someone asks us what we are looking for in a person-unless we're directly provoked to disclose those specific features of a person's character.
Fifteen people were surveyed and asked which character traits are non-negotiable in a romantic partner. Their options were as follows:
Self-confidence, carefree, curious, successful, thoughtful, happy, determined, calm, hard-working, funny, humble, playful, outspoken, patient, wise, ambitious, brave, dependable, creative, clever, organized, unselfish, honest and studious.
Which ones jumped out at you? Perhaps they were similar to the choices of the men and women surveyed. Before you go saying that the results are biased by any means, know that responses were collected from individuals of various ages and ethnic backgrounds. We're talking men and women, ages 23-37, from around 9 different ethnic backgrounds.
Overall, both men and women want their partner to by funny and honest. Of everyone surveyed, those two qualities were in the top 3. So if you want to get them to fall for you, be funny and don't lie. It's really quite that simple.
Character traits that follow closely behind those from women include hardworking, dependable and ambitious. Women want a man (or another woman, for that matter) to be hardworking, they want to be able to depend on them and they want them to be ambitious, which in a nutshell means they want them to be doing something with all of that hard work. Anyone can be working hard at a cashier job in a fast food restaurant or as an usher at the local cinema and have no ambition. They're complacent with what they're doing and think having a job alone is good enough. Women want someone who has a plan and wants to do something with themselves. Ambition is necessary to grab-and keep-her attention.
Traits that match up to those for men include being dependable, humble, unselfish and patient. These seem logical for a man to seek out in a woman (or again, in another man, respectively). After all, who needs you to have more patience with them than a man? No shade. Just facts. But they also want their partners to be dependable, which is interesting. It seems we all want to be able to depend on someone without worrying that they'll let us down when we need them most. Unselfishness is pretty self explanatory, and women chose that as well, it just wasn't voted as highly on their roster.
Other traits women are looking for in a partner include playful, creative, wise, successful, happy and determined. Men chose creative, wise, ambitious, happy and self-confident. We all prefer someone that's happy, creative and has some kind of confidence, whether it be through success or self- confidence.
What are you looking for? Did you know before you read this? Now that you know...maybe you'll appreciate the qualities you see in someone else and the ones you see in yourself a little more. We're all looking for similar traits in our partners, so maybe it's time we acknowledged them.
Until next time beautiful people,
Peace, patience and creativity to all