Blood Clot: We're Family. Why are we competing?



Family is supposed to be your home base. A safe place where you can be yourself and share your accomplishments freely and confidently. But what happens when that safe haven turns into a competition? Your family members are just that...your family. So why can't they just be happy for you...instead of competing with you?

Let's be clear: the competition being focused on here is NOT the competition we see when playing poker or having a swimming contest or playing a sport with a family member...instead it's the competition of life.

When a member of your family is doing well, you're supposed to be happy for them, be proud of them...give them a high five (literal or virtual). The excitement for their accomplishments should be freely expressed and most important-it should be genuine.These are our family members, the ones we grew up with...the ones we've seen in the utmost embarrassing moments. So when they put their mind to something-and actually make it a reality-they deserve a little praise. 

...that goes for men too.
I know what you're thinking-what if said family member is a pain in the ass...a spoiled brat...a known attention-whore??? Well then you congratulate them and keep it moving. No need to overdo the attention, but there's also no need to try to out-do them just because. We are all on our own path. So to compete and try to beat someone-a family member nonetheless-is just an act of derailing yourself from your path. There's no real "win" in it. You're probably competing for something you're not even passionate about, and you're doing it just to see someone their accomplishment seem minimal. The only aim is to be a buzz kill.

That sounds a mess, doesn't it? So why do we do it? It's similar to an abusive relationship. It's toxic. When someone close to you finds joy in focusing their energy on making you feel deflated and belittled, it's not healthy. It can even lead to depression. Don't be that person to your family member. It's bad karma and it's downright wrong. 

Let us cheer each other on and be genuinely happy for each others accomplishments. Let's give everyone equal praise, not just our favorites. And let us realize that everyone's path is different. If they're excited about it, participate. Share a little bit of that excitement with them. You may have no idea how long they've been working on getting to a certain place, or how long they've been practicing something to get it down pat. And you have no idea how much your support may mean to them. For all you know, your support may be the reason they kept pressing on. You just never know. Albeit that could be because you don't ask...but that's a whole other post. The bottom line is: learn how to really be proud for your family members. It costs you nothing and could mean everything to them. Save the competition for colleagues at work, fellow students at school, and friends on the field (or court).  Love and root for one another. Period. 

So...in closing... get your head out of your ass and stop trying to beat your family members down in life-based competition. Friendly, MUTUAL competition is fine..but anything other than is not ok. Remember that.

Until next time loves,

Peace, excitement and high fives for all.




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