Serial Dating: The Good, The Bad and the Ugly
Dating is a good thing. Let's just confirm that to begin with. If you don't date, you won't know what you want, what you don't want and what you're looking for in a partner. It's a bit of a trial and error sequence that begins when we are teenagers and goes into adulthood. It helps you determine exactly what your deal breakers are, which makes you more efficient at dating and ultimately helps you find that special someone you'd like to spend the rest of your life with. That click, that spark...you can't find it without dating.
But what happens when you get a little carried away with whole dating thing? How do you even know you've become a serial dater?
When the time between the loves of your life starts getting shorter and shorter...you're on your way to becoming a serial dater. And yes, the "loves of your life" was purposeful, because when you're addicted to dating, every person you date is now the love of your life and you're glad you finally met "the one". This person can do no wrong...until they do...and it's usually similar if not identical to the your last love interest. Yes, that's another sign-the line between what is acceptable and what is a deal breaker starts to blur. You give more chances, make more excuses for people...brush off things that actually hurt you or really piss you off...because you don't want to lose them. Then when you do lose them, you start the same forgiving cycle with the next person (usually in record time).
This may sound like you...or it may not...but if it does, you're probably wondering why in the world you do this to yourself. The answer is surprisingly simple. Serial daters just don't want to be alone. They like the feeling of having someone to text, having someone to call, having someone to be around...to be with. Spending time and sharing moments is an important part of their life, and when they're "alone" or "single", they feel inadequate...lonely.
How do you snap yourself out of it? Learn to enjoy your time alone. Appreciate it and value it. When you're not alone, spend time with people who really matter. The friends and family that have been by your side through each and every break up and stuck with you through all of your ups and downs in life otherwise. Spend some quality time with them...ask them about THEIR lives. Value it.
That seems pretty reasonable I think.
So go forth, friends and other curious souls...and stop serial dating at 30. Learn to appreciate time alone...appreciate time with people who really care about you...and if you meet someone you really connect with...appreciate that too. But let it grow organically. Don't force it...or fall back into bad habits.
Until next time loves...
Live, Love and Learn.