Love Languages: Know Yours AND Theirs
Studies show that we all fall primarily into one of five categories of love languages. These 5 love languages include:
1. Receiving gifts
2. Physical touch
3. Words of affirmation
4. Acts of service
5. Quality time
These different categories indicate what language we use to communicate love, and the majority of us communicate mostly with one (or two) of them. It's extremely important to know which one(s) you use to communicate, but it's also important to know which one(s) your partner uses to communicate.
How do you find out which ones you use?? Take a quiz, read a book...Google it...whatever floats your boat. I chose to take a 30-question quiz. The questions included a series of "choose one" example pairs that ask which option is more meaningful to you- i.e. A. When your partner buys you a gift or B. When you and your partner share a hug. The quiz only took about 3 minutes, and most of the pairs were easy to choose from. Your choices are then scored and you're presented with list of your love languages from highest to lowest, AND explanations for each.
How did I make out??? Well, my primary love language is physical touch, and not far behind is quality time.
What does that mean? Physical touch literally means just that-touching. Calm down, this doesn't translate to anything bedroom related. According to my quiz results, it just means I value touch. Hugs, holding hands, random touches on the arm, shoulder, face or back. All of these are ways I show and interpret care, love, excitement and even concern.
Quality time, the second runner up, means that I truly value full, undivided attention. I like to spend time and do things (activities like board games or blanket fort building included) with my partner with limited to no distractions, to-do lists completed or on hold, and phones away. Also according to the quiz results, distractions, postponed dates or failure to listen can be especially hurtful. Which is creepily (and embarrassingly) true.
I highly recommend that everyone visit http://www.5lovelanguages.com to see what their love language is. You may find something out about yourself that you didn't know before, or you may just confirm what you thought your love languages were in the first place. If you're single, you're good. Should you begin dating someone and they complain that you need too much attention, too much affirmation or want them to do too much, it may be time to drop them. Your love languages aren't going to change anytime soon. But if you're in a relationship, knowing your own languages are only half the battle. You also need to know your partner's primary love language(s). It will help you understand them more, and understanding each other's non-verbal communication styles can and will stop arguments and misunderstandings before they ever begin. And it only takes 3 minutes to figure them out.
So ladies, stop complaining that your man is unemotional and doesn't get it; and men, stop saying women are impossible to understand. I'm not saying knowing each other's love languages cracks all codes between the sexes (or within them, for that matter), but it definitely helps us understand and accept each other a little better and a lot smarter.
Until next time, sexy beasts...
Peace, love and communication to all!