Ex-temptations: Should you answer the call?
First things first. As requested, this will be part one in a series of 4 blogs. One blog will be posted per week in this order:
1. Ex-Temptations: Should you answer the call?
2. Love Languages: The (great) importance of knowing your own AND your partner's
3. Serial Dating: The good, the bad and the ugly
4. Blazeh Blah: If you're not feeling it anymore, just move on.
The ex-temptation. It often rears it's ugly head when you're in a relationship, usually right around when you've forgotten about said ex. Or it can lurk into your life when you're single and potentially vulnerable. In either situation, you ask yourself...should I answer the call?
This is someone who knows you well, "accepts" your flaws and still loved (or rather loves...after all, they're reaching out) you. The breakup was ugly, but time has passed and maybe everything has healed. Maybe you can still be friends, or, maybe the phrase
"if you love something, let it go...if it comes back you it's yours..."
applies to the two of you. You let go of each other and they're coming back, so...maybe it's meant to be and you should answer the call. You start asking yourself if you got into your current relationship to quickly-was this a rebound? You may even start to pick apart your relationship and even start comparing your present partner to your ex. The ex is winning in comparison. So maybe...it's time to end this questionable relationship you're in and get back to what feels...right. It has to be what's right. It's comfortable...like memory foam.
FALSE. JUST STOP.
An ex is an ex for a reason. Your breakup happened for a reason, and should you go back to them...will happen again...and probably for the same reason.
If you're feeling insecure about your current relationship, talk to your partner. NOT your ex. Trust me, the ex will listen intently and tell you what you want to hear, but really they're just noting all of the things your current partner is doing wrong so they can pretend to do all of those things right. They know you extremely well, remember? If you're single, the same thing applies. They'll listen closely to your woes about being lonely and not being able to meet anyone that you just "click" with-like you "clicked" with them...and eventually they'll roll out the "me too, me either...we should just be together."
DON'T FALL INTO IT.
They're your ex. They broke your heart, hurt you, or got you into trouble in one way or another. That's how they got their present title. Don't invite that heartache and stress back into your life because you're lonely by yourself or feeling insecure about your relationship. Leave them in the past where they belong, and let them know they can't just pop-up in your life as they please and when THEY are feeling lonely or insecure in their relationship.
Oh and no, you CANNOT remain friends with your ex. Respect yourself and your new/current relationship.
Until next time beautiful people,
Peace, love and strength to all in 2015.
This year shall be major spiritually, academically and financially. Claim it.