Blazeh Blah: Not feeling it? Move on.
There comes a time in almost every relationship-be that romantic or friendship-when you've hit a plateau. You start to ask yourself if you should keep this person around or if it would better suit you to move on and either cut all ties, or loosen them significantly. Maybe it's you...maybe it's them...but either way, an assessment needs to be made and chances are you need to move on.
One usual reason for this breakdown in connection could be life-placement. Maybe you've been making progress over the past few years, accomplishing goals that were set-even though you thought some of them may be impossible. You may take a look at the relationship and see that your friend/partner has been in the same place for the past 5 years-with no plans or ambitions to accomplish goals of their own. They're complacent and seemingly unambitious. You realize the two of you are in very different places in your lives. There are two choices you can make: encourage them to do more and assure them they can accomplish even their wildest dreams...but risk them getting offended and even angry at you; or you can separate yourself from the relationship. What you should definitely NOT do though, is make them feel bad or ashamed for not being where you know they could be if they just tried. It's hard, but we must mind our words when dealing with those close to us. They may already be feeling insecure about where they are, and could even be scared to come to you for advice, so make sure you keep those lines of communication open..in the event that they want to do more with themselves and decide to come to you for advice or for that extra push.
If you're the friend that's been in the same place for awhile and just hasn't been able to find your mojo...you may be feeling intimidated by your ambitious counterpart...or even a little jealous. What's more, you may just not want to do more for yourself because you're comfortable where you are and don't see the need to make any advancements. If any of these describe your feelings or mentality...CUT IT OUT. This is your friend or partner. Your road dog. They've stuck with you even though you've been in a rut, and have tried to encourage you to follow your dreams. You should NEVER be jealous of what your friend or partner has accomplished. That's not a relationship. You should be proud of them for accomplishing their goals and being disciplined enough to pursue them in the first place. You should also see them growing and want to do the same for yourself-in some capacity. This doesn't mean you should want to do exactly what they've done by any means. We all have different goals and ambitions, and they're all relevant. The thing is, we have to go after them. If you're feeling insecure about yourself, chat with them. They might be able to give you some damn good insight on how to get started. You're close enough to have that conversation...it just has to get started. If you find yourself unwilling to have that conversation, jealous of your friend/partner, and with the desire to remain where you are for however long you please (some may call this stubbornness), then it may be time for you to distance yourself from the relationship and cut your losses.
Moving on isn't just ambition based. It's also emotion-based. If you're in a relationship and you're wondering whether or not it's right for you, it clearly needs to be analyzed. Ask yourself if you're just bored-in which case also ask yourself if you've done anything to make things more interesting. When was the last time you had a great talk or laugh with your partner? If it's been a while then you may be in a rut of some sort. Romantic relationships are complicated, but simple when it comes to hitting that plateau. You KNOW what is for you and what isn't going to go anywhere. If you're not feeling your relationship anymore, chances are your partner may be feeling the same way-OR they have no idea that you feel like that. OPEN. THE. LINES. OF. COMMUNICATION. It's the master key to any relationship, but especially romantic ones.Don't stay somewhere you no longer feel you belong-or feel welcomed-but also don't lose something great over a fleeting moment of boredom or uncertainty. Also, don't be a jerk. But that goes without saying.
Until next time, amazing faces...
Peace, love and positive vibes to all!