Do Work: Lack of Work Ethic Makes You Less Sexy
You're hot, you're (seemingly) interesting, you're funny...but...it seems your work ethic..sucks. For many people, this could be a deal breaker, or at least the reason you're hot and amazing score has been docked quite a few points.
This is not a dig at anyone who just doesn't want to do anything. By all means, I'm sure people encourage you to do just that if that's what makes you happy. Please note, however, that those same people have either written you off or are just tired of trying to light a fire under your ass. Don't be fooled...you've probably let them down already.
On the flip side however, having a low tolerance for hard work can prove to make a person less attractive overall. This has to do with goals that you, as a motivated individual, would like to reach, ambitions that you're actively working towards, personal expectations that you absolutely must meet. Chances are, the only reason you even started interacting with the lackluster individual was because you thought there was a spark in them that was pushing them to reach towards goals of their own. Then you had a few more conversations, they told you a little more about themselves, and you realized that the truth of the matter is...they have no ambitions whatsoever. They're complacent, with no desire to move forward in their current profession (if they have one), or to follow their dreams doing-or actively preparing themselves-to do something they love. This lack of ambition...lack of heart to get out of their comfort zone, excel at something, prove their own self doubt wrong...is very unfortunate. Mostly since people don't see it in themselves...and don't really care too much.
When faced with this type of individual though, don't quit them too quickly- if it matters to you to pursue them that is. Because if it does, digging a little deeper may show you a few things you couldn't see on the surface. They may very well have had ambitions at some point, but something stopped them from pursuing them further. Family issues may have interfered, financial troubles may have derailed them...there are a ton of reasons a person could get thrown off track from their goals and aspirations. It happens. If this is the case, and again, if you care enough to make the effort to understand what happened with them, inquire about it all-just not in an interrogation. They may secretly be a little intimidated by you...don't make it worse.
The whole reason you were attracted to this person was because you saw a part of yourself in them. You were a bit turned off by the disappointment of that not being 100% a match. But the reality is that they do align with your ambitious nature...they just got derailed and caught up in being complacent. Figure out why, and encourage them to chase some dreams and goals of their own.
If they really are satisfied with their complacency and have no desire to do better, then go with your gut and cut them loose. You don't want to waste your time and energy trying to nurture something in someone that has died...and take that focus away from the goals you're eating for breakfast.
Remember that in love and life, we all make decisions. Some are better than others, some are amazing...and some are just plain dumb...but no matter what they end up being, we have the freedom and capacity to make the next one count. So do that. Believe in each other, make an effort...but never settle... learn to take your losses like a champ...and move on to bigger and better things.
Until next time, nerdy hotties...
Peace, love and ambitions to all