No, Wait: Explanation for Exiting?


It's human nature-usually-to give someone more chances than they may deserve because we like them. It's the same courtesy given to attractive people when they're in customer service scenarios. If you're attractive, the mechanic, grocery store cashier, even the person behind the fast food counter...will lay on the hospitality extra thick when an attractive individual is in front of them. Likewise, when we personally find someone attractive, especially if it's in more way than one (I'm referring to intelligence, sense of humor...things like that), then we are more inclined to give them more chances than we usually dish out to get it together.

But what happens when they just...can't seem to??


If they just can't seem to get it together, and your patience is running thin...you have every right to abort the mission and move on with your life. It will save you heartache, disappointment and wasted time.


Wait though...before you go all "I'M TIRED OF YOUR SHIT, I'M LEAVING YOU" on your significant other, remember that they cannot, I repeat...CANNOT...read your mind. It's completely unfair to you to expect them to straighten up in certain ways when you've never brought said ways up. It's also unfair to attack them every time they do something that irks you. That will just cause them to retreat and be self conscious-around you (not in a good way). It will also result in arguments, resentment and ultimately no solution to the problem. Make suggestions, be kind...make your frustration known, but know how to speak. Both men and women are sensitive in their own ways. If you're close enough to them to want to work through things that frustrate you now...then you're close enough to let them know what's bothering you. Just don't get offended if and when they have some frustrations to share with you in return (so long as it's not out of spite, that is.)

 

However, if the frustrations-and solutions- have been discussed, and they still can't seem to get it together, you can go about resolving the problem one of two ways:

1. You can do the age-old, sink or swim...forever risky...ultimatum. Let them know (gently), that you're really getting fed up with their lack of effort to resolve the issues that have been addressed. Inform them that it's getting to the point where your feelings are a little hurt because it seems like they just don't care. I know, I know...it seems like a bit of a guilt trip. But it isn't. You care about them and you want to work through this...but if they aren't putting in any effort to do simple things that will make you happier, especially if you're doing the things they requested of you... then...you're going to be done. That's it. Make the changes or I'm out. 

Disclaimer: Don't cross any respect boundaries with this. This is meant to reference things like taking hours to reply to texts, failing to make time in their busy schedule for you, paying more attention to their phone than you when you're with them, drinking way too much (black-out status), general lack of communication, etc. Things that cause a relationship to sink or swim.

2. Just...disappear. This option may seem harsh, but if there are things that have been addressed as issues and there is a nonchalant attitude in response to them...it seems that person just doesn't care too much. They may be plain selfish, are entertaining someone else, or literally JUST.DON'T.CARE. In which case...you have every right to just go ghost. No explanation necessary. Just move on.


In conclusion, the choice to leave or stay is ultimately yours. But don't stay in a situation where you're not happy because you don't feel like you're getting what you deserve out of a relationship. You deserve to feel special, loved and happy. Especially if you're making every effort to ensure that the other person feels all of that.

Until next time, lovers, romantics and everything in between...

Peace, love and adoration to all.

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