Hearing vs. Listening: What They Want to Hear & What You Really Feel
Hear (vi) : To be able to hear sounds
Listen (vi) : To make a conscious effort to hear; to give heed; take advice
Notice the difference between the two? We're all guilty of it...hearing instead of listening...and thinking that it's A. OK and B. not noticeable.
The reality is that we should HEAR music, and LISTEN to people-especially our significant others. Taking it a step further, whoever is listening should be getting told something real rather than just what they want to hear. (Hint: if what they want to hear isn't parallel with what you feel...you're pretty much lying to them anyway)
Communication is a two-way street. That's referenced a lot, but not as often put into play. We have to make conscious effort to be better communicators in all areas of life, and that means listening more and speaking less (fluff)...which by default also means speaking more truthful, more real, more detailed...and more raw.
It's tempting just to say what our partner wants to hear. It keeps everything moving smoothly, and usually, we just want to please who we're with...and we should...but not at the expense of our own true feelings being suppressed.
After all, in the long run our real feelings will come out, and probably not in the most desirable manner. Like say, in the heat of the moment during an argument-which just causes hurt feelings and probably spiteful reactions. To avoid this, we need to value our feelings more, express how we really feel, and not be so hesitant to wear our hearts on our sleeves in a sense. You're involved with this person- you've shared intimate moments and conversations...why then are you so afraid to tell them how you really feel?
And while true feelings are actively being shared...let's all make sure we're lending not only our ears, but our hearts and minds as we LISTEN to our partners instead of just HEARING them.
Pay attention. Express feelings. Keep the peace from the start.
Until next time, lovers...
Peace, love and open ears to all.