"I'm good though.": Why are adults hesitant to admit hurt?


Once you're a "grown up" (and maybe long before, depending on your upbringing), it becomes taboo to admit that your feelings have been hurt. We tend to feel like it's not proper to admit such things...because we're adults...and adults don't get their feelings hurt. You're supposed to just get over it and move on.

Unfortunately, it doesn't work like that. Adults get their feelings hurt too, and because we're adults it may be far more important for us to admit that we've been hurt. In a world where everything (real) has a veil of secrecy, how people make us feel needs to come out of hiding.

Disclaimer: don't go out being a big baby about everything. This is not meant to encourage those who just like to complain and be the center of attention. This is for everyone who's feelings get hurt, whether it be by a significant other, a friend, a coworker, or even a parent. To maintain open lines of communication, we must express our feelings of happiness and of hurt. If we don't, we allow for a cycle to form. That may sound dramatic, but really it's not. Think about it-someone hurts your feelings...usually unintentionally...and you don't say anything. You may even think you're overreacting. But then it happens again, and again...and again. It may be a specific topic that's sensitive to you or you may have different views than they do and they say something that insults your point of view...because they assume you share the same one they do. If they don't know how you feel or what you're thinking...chances are very great that they will do it again (and again). 


Sounds easy enough to tell people how we feel. But we all know it isn't. We naturally live with the fear of rejection and ridicule...and admitting our feelings have been hurt puts us at complete risk of getting slapped with both. It's quite similar to public speaking, really. It's scary, and you don't know how you will be received...but once you do it a few times, it doesn't seem like such a big deal. They either listen and act accordingly, or they react like a total jerk. Whichever way it goes, you've expressed your feelings-and they're very likely to treat you with a little more care the next time certain topics come up, ask your actual opinion and pay attention to your reactions. 

In conclusion, share your joys often...but also let people know when they've hurt you. It's an uncomfortable necessity for good communication. 

Until next time love bugs,

Love, honor and respect one another.




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