Young Love: Is getting married young really a bad idea or is it really an issue of general compatibility?
Getting married before you can legally drink may seem more like something from the 1940s... a thing of the past... but the concept is still alive and kicking. Young people nationwide are getting married super young- with or without their parent’s blessing-and they aren’t the least bit phased by nay-sayers. But if we look deeper into the reasons why these young marriages (typically) end in divorce, was the divorce really a result of being young, or was the couple never compatible to begin with?
General statistics show that the probability of divorce of a couple who gets married under the age of 18 is a whopping 48%. Think getting married at 18 or 19 has a better chance? Nope. Their probability comes in a close second at 40% and slowly goes down from there. Slowly. Reasons for failure vary greatly from one end of the spectrum to another, and seem to touch on any and all insecurities (or assumptions) related to a young married couple.
Impulsiveness is said to have a lot to do with these failed marriages. Young people meet someone and are head over heels in love shortly thereafter. Everything seems so wonderful and their partner is just perfect. So they rush off to the altar (and have an actual wedding if their parents are lucky) and get married because, logically…all they need is each other. Another reason is the higher chance of remarriage younger people have-especially women. Today’s general divorce rate doesn’t help this theory at all, making getting divorced and remarried seem just as common as changing your underwear. Women with a higher IQ who go to college are even on the list. They traditionally get married later because they’re on more of a career-focused path than a married-with-children one. These are just a few reasons for failure, but the list is endless and the studies are constantly renewed-these aren’t studies from 1952. They’re in real time.
All that is fine and dandy-and makes sense-but what about the couples that break through those stereotypes? They certainly exist and most of them are incredibly happy...and their reasons for getting married very much fall under the same categories of doom that anti-young-marriage have put in place. What's the difference then?
Well...compatibility of course. Because when you're truly compatible, you trust each other more, the love is more organic and everything just seems easier. After all, a relationship shouldn't really be THAT much work. Some work yes, but it should never feel like a job.
I'm guessing you'd like me to prove it. So here you go:
I met a young girl a few years ago- I mean young-she was 17 or 18 when we met. She's the sweetest girl ever and has a heart of gold. She was a little naive, but then again, what teen isn't? She had (and still has) an optimistic gleam in her eye and everything she touches seems to attract glitter. I watched her go through what she thought was the worst time of her life-her first big breakup with the guy she thought she'd marry. She loved him, she thought he loved her...but it all fell apart. She was devastated...for a short while...then she met what seemed like prince charming when she was 18. She was skeptical, and had been burned, so she was treading lightly...but she allowed herself to see where the relationship went. After all, both her parents and his parents married very young...and both couples are still together today, 20+ years later. Positive outcomes all around. Adding to their willingness to be true to each other and go with the flow without feeling "trapped".
Almost two years later, he proposed and they got married. She was 20 and he was 22. Six months later, they're still madly in love and even in photos of the two of them...it's like there's no one else in the world. Just the two of them. They're the epitome of young love and it's beautiful.
Already gathering doubts about them? Don't bother. Even astrologically, their signs (Aquarius and Scorpio) have the ability to truly appreciate each others differences and come together on their individual roles in a relationship...creating a truly gratifying connection. Call me crazy, but I believe these two have managed to do that, and although they're still early in the game, I see myself going to their 50th anniversary one day.
In conclusion, getting married young can be super dumb. It's just the way the cookie crumbles. But sometimes you really just "know", and you meet someone that is truly a perfect match for you. If you go into it without negative thoughts and just...love...the relationship will have no other path to follow than a happy one.
Until next time lovers, peace, love, happiness and compatibility for all.