Soul...Mate...


A soul mate, according to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, is a close friend who completely understands you; a person who has the same beliefs and opinions as another person. They go on to define it more thoroughly as a person who is perfectly suited to another in temperament; a person who strongly resembles another in attitudes or beliefs.

According to the Urban Dictionary, a soul mate is a person with whom you have an immediate connection the moment you meet--a connection so strong that you are drawn to them in a way you have never experienced before. Your soul mate understands and connects with you in every way and on every level, which brings a sense of peace, calmness and happiness when you are around them. 

“…You’ve got me feelin’ emotions, higher than the heavens above…” 

Whichever way you cut it, a soul mate is someone you’re really into that makes you feel really good.  It’s a balance in attraction and intrigue between two people that’s unmatched. Typically it’s someone you’ve met and when you laid eyes on each other, there was a spark. You may not understand it at first, but there’s a jolt- a moment of cloudiness and clarity all at once. They may be physically attractive to you, but that’s not the reason for the spark. We have to be very careful about that. Just because someone is exactly your ‘type’ physically doesn’t mean they’re your soul mate…Just because you both like spaghetti, doesn’t mean they’re your soul  mate...Just because they look good dancing…doesn’t mean they’re your soul mate. This spark isn’t a vain one. It’s different. It’s unique…you’re curious and confused and excited and  need to know more about this person. Whether you get to speak to them in that moment or have to wait…you’ve just got to know more…STAT.

“…Got me up all night, all I’m singin’ is love songs…”

There’s a split between people who believe you only have one soul mate in a lifetime and those who think you have numerous throughout your life. The reality is, it all depends on you…and of course whether or not you’re one of those people who thinks every other person you meet in an ideal setting is your soul mate...But I digress. 

“…And honey you’ll always be the only one for me, meeting you was my destiny…”  

That amazing spark may  very likely only happen with one person. You may be with this person now…or you may have met them and just know in your heart that you will meet again. That they universe will find a way to circle you back to each other in some strange and random way and that when it does, you’ll be meeting not only again for the first time…but experiencing that spark all over again…at the right time. 

“…Don’t you know I was made to love her, built a world all around her…”

On the other hand, you may have had that spark once, and then had it a second time with someone else. The second someone may be who you’re with now or be the person I just described…the one the universe will make work. 

“…’cause we got the fire…and we gonna let it burn, burn, burn…”

Then again, you may have had that spark with 2 or 3 people already and really believe that it will happen again. The problem with this approach is that it dulls the meaning of a soul mate. If you believe you’ve met 6 people who could all be your soul mates- and truly believe you’ll meet 5 more…you’re either an extremely hopeless romantic, or  have a more “dating” stance on soul mates. People date before they marry or before they enter into a committed relationship. Each of the people you date can’t be another soul mate. Assign them the titles they deserve…the “high school sweetheart”…the “college lover”…the “dancer”… the “military one”, so on and so forth. Not the “soul mate” 4 times over. 


Ultimately, soul mates DO exist. Absolutely. BUT, a soul mate is a really special person. In a world where “love” is overused so much that we mindlessly blurt it out in a fleeting manner on a regular basis; we have to make an extra and active effort to take the meanings of these types of words for what they are worth in our hearts and not just as letters put together and used in a sentence. 

Soul mate is an exclusive title. Don’t pass it out loosely. 

Until next time…peace, love and Bobby James… 






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