Financial Differences and Turmoil in Relationships
Today it's all about money money money mo-neeeyyyy!
Does a difference in finances make your partner strive to be better or make any attempt to match your "boss"?
And in contrast, if (and usually when) you and your partner are at different places in your lives, careers and bank accounts, does it cause a rift?
Things can end up either way, but will typically end up closer to the latter. And when they do, men and women both have their "issues".
When a woman makes more than a man, and/or is more financially stable-assuming HE isn't being a complete jiggolo and sticking around for his own greedy benefit-her man tends to get depressed. The fact that they can't provide for their partner, can't be the "big strong man" and have to let a woman pay for the groceries or dinner if she wants to go out. It's damaging to a man's ego. Plain and simple. A woman sees this (yes, women notice it), and tries even harder to cheer her man up. Now there's a cycle of a man pretending to be happy but falling into depression. A man who's constantly frustrated, annoyed and moody because he can't contribute to the house. Next to him is a woman fed up with trying to cheer him up...and probably equally frustrated that he can't help out.
For women- again, assuming she's not a gold-digger with alterior motives, can also feel the stress that comes along with not being able to contribute financially to a relationship when her man is more financially stable. yes, it's nice to get treated like a princess and don't get it twisted, men SHOULD foot the bill on most dates (what? you thought assuming she should cook and clean was one sided? Pay for dinner out.) BUT, girls want to spoil their man too every once in awhile-and not just on his birthday. But what if she can't financially? Yes fellas..it bothers the ladies too. One rule of thumb is to not go out on a date if you don't think you can pay for it should something happen and the man be a total jerk. But that's usually on a first date. Anywho...think twice the next time you start to say "why don't you ever pay for dinner? There may actually be a reason...or five.
Things can go up and down relatively regularly; and it's not a matter of "equality" wherein men and women should be treated as equals and go dutch to try to change things in the 21st century. Yes, it's a new age and women make money just like men; but women can also have rough times just like men and neither have the obligation to show it or explain it. Relationships with generally traditional roles that add in a twist of modernness make it in the long run. The guys pay for dinner and drinks when the couple goes out; the ladies make a delicious dinner or dessert and champagne for a night in. Then, on a randomly selected night (chosen by the woman, not forced or demanded by the man), the woman takes her man out for a night on the town or gets him a gift while she's out...AND the man cooks every once in awhile (when he chooses to) and even offers to wash the dishes!
In conclusion ladies and gents, unless you know your partner's financial situation and plans thoroughly, which usually means you're headed for marriage...don't demand and don't assume the status of someone's bank account...and appreciate gestures a little more. Financial differences can in fact cause a great deal of harm in a relationship. Furthermore, if you don't know the finances and aren't in a truly committed relationship, you needn't be living together-but that's a whole other topic.
But don't forget...we ALL like to get spoiled. Men and women alike.
Until next time...peace, love and champagne!